Among the myriad of seemingly trivial articles dedicated to Formula One, this particular piece stands out as arguably the most superfluous ever written. The F1 news sector thrives on speculation, baseless rumours, the propagation of falsehoods, and the art of magnifying a passing comment into sensational headlines. This ecosystem is driven solely by the insatiable need for more clicks, as every publication vies for increased ad revenue flowing into their coffers. I too must confess to occasionally partaking in such a regrettable form of “reporting,” but it reflects the unfortunate reality of modern journalism, where the written word has devolved into a metaphorical cannibalistic feast.

Regrettably, I find myself compelled to return to the ‘narrative’ that occupies my attention today – my mounting apprehensions regarding the state of George Russell’s hair. Upon George ‘Choir’ Boy Russell’s initial foray into the blazing arena of Formula One, he not only entered but ascended to the pinnacle of the world’s most elite sporting event.

Rather than becoming a paying driver leveraging familial offshore financial tax havens, Russell bootstrapped his way to the top. He catapulted himself to the summit through sheer natural talent, a testament to his tenacity and resourcefulness.

Russell’s demeanour has consistently reflected a man on a mission, poised to claim the sport’s highest honours, and there is no doubt that his moment will inevitably arrive. However, my recent concern has pivoted toward the increasingly dishevelled state of Russell’s hair. What once epitomized a carefully coiffed side parting, characterized by a neatly short cut on the sides and a longer crown, has now taken a turn towards a more ‘rebellious’ disposition.

Gone are the days when Russell’s hair maintained a polished appearance; now, it has adopted a rather mousey and unkempt quality, boasting a centre parting that rivals Moses’ parting of the Red Sea. While Moses undoubtedly exerted considerable effort to part the waters, Russell seems to be taking a decidedly nonchalant stance toward the state of his hair – a casual “nah… it’s a rebellion today” attitude.

One can’t help but wonder how long this follicular rebellion will persist, and how much longer the public will have to endure this affront to hairmanity.

It’s astonishing that I invested time in penning this piece—an entirely frivolous endeavour that, paradoxically, positions me as a prime contender for the title of F1 Journalist of the Year.