Jeremy Clarkson - Daily Car Blog contributor
Jeremiah Clarkson: The Cult of Tesla is The Real New World Order, We Must Resist!

First, they came for the steam trains, and I did not speak out. Then, they came for the oil, and I remained silent. Next, they targeted the Internal Combustion Engine, and still, I refrained from raising my voice. Finally, they ushered in the new ‘vorld’ order, and that’s when I exclaimed, “’ O’ld on, guv’nor! What’s going on ‘ere, me matey?”

The new ‘vorld’ order is a WEF (World Economic Forum) construct. This collective consists of powerful multinational organisations implementing ‘policies’ to bring about peace and prosperity to the world. You know, in the same manner, Emperor Palpatine wanted to bring peace and justice to the Star Wars Republic. And we know how it ended for Palpatine. Not well.

While the WEF will fail in its wealth extraction, I mean its global “mission,” a new counter-world order is emerging, giving birth to sleeper cells commonly known as the ultra-geeks. This faction of humanity has remained dormant, biding their time for the opportune moment to unveil themselves.

This worldwide grouping of ultra-geeks is known as The Cult of Tesla. The Cult of Tesla is driven by an unwavering conviction that the adoption of electric cars signifies a higher state of being, like the insufferable and omnipotent Q from Star Trek. Those who resist this adoption are viewed as regressive, backward individuals, living in a pitiful state, yearning to sustain a life dependent on fossil fuels, and deemed to lead a purposeless existence.

The Cult of Tesla operates without a designated leader; this worldwide movement is stateless but pervasive. They exist among us, yet their presence is elusive due to their “higher calling”. Frequently, they can be found on social media, sharing videos showcasing unconventional uses of a Cybertruck slicing a carrot, or embarking on seemingly purposeless long journeys to test the true range of a Tesla Model Y.

In the words of a famous wartime general, “War, begun it has,” but this conflict is far from ordinary; it’s a battle between the WEF new ‘vorld’ order and the ultra geeks and at stake is the very existence of humanities reliance of real cars for real people. The ultra-geek counter-revolutionaries are aiming to dismantle the bug-eating fantasists of the WEF’s new ‘vorld’ order and replace it with the Cult of Tesla World Order. 

To that end one should welcome the rise of the ultra geeks, but who wants a new world order when the current world order is up in flames? Why not consider fixing the current world order?

Therefore resistance against both factions is imperative if we are to persist in pumping real fuel into real cars, for true cars are propelled by pistons, not AAA battery packs or the dictates of one supremacist cult over the other. I for one do not wish to regress to the days of bicycles and carts pulled by donkeys, for I prefer the same world order.

Jeremy Clarkson - Daily Car Blog contributor
Share via
Copy link
Powered by Social Snap