Salubrious greetings to y’all!

If you are an American, the downfall of the wretched automotive empire, Sterile Corporate Monolith Stellantis, cannot come soon enough. This European-based, sterile, monolithic corporation has long yearned to break into the U.S. market, but Americans want nothing to do with puny Peugeots and Citroëns powered by tiny four-cylinder engines.

Emissions regulations need rolling back, because every Jeep rolling off the production line should be fitted with a V8 engine — pure and natural. Okay, I’ll accept some degree of hybridisation, but I will never accept what the sterile corporate monolithic Stellantis bureaucrats have done to Jeep, specifically the Cherokee.

The Cherokee should be a bar-room brawler. It should scream beer, dust, and defiance. Instead? Stellantis shoved in a four-cylinder engine and bragged about “efficiency.”

I smell bullshit.

The last thing I want in the engine bay of a Jeep Cherokee is a shrinking violet. What I want is I want full-throttle freedom. I do not want to spend my time perpetually monitoring the fuel gauge because efficiency doesn’t impress me. And the Peugeot engine powering this shrinking violet? Weak, uninspired, and forgettable.

Nothing can surpass a V8 block — it’s the wild horse of American engines, untamed by time. This European Peugeot nonsense is like strapping a 1.5L, 4-cylinder engine to a rocket and expecting it to launch into space.

My only hope for Americans is that Sterile Corporate Monolith Stellantis is consumed by its own arrogance, bleeding itself out of business. That’s the only way to return Jeep to its American roots.

And I’ll ignore the irony of an American company using the name of an indigenous tribe that was ethnically cleansed by white settlers. “History never repeats itself,” they say — and we know that to be utter nonsense.

Evening all!