Makers of expensive and luxury unreliable vehicles, Jaguar Land Rover, has decided to punish 13,000 employees by building an internment camp in the wilderness of Warwickshire, England. The re-education facility is restitution, corporal punishment after Jaguar Land Rover posted significant losses earlier this year. The re-education facility appears stylish and state-of-the-art but hides a brutal regime. Inmates, made up of engineers and designers, go through a brutal induction regime.

Solitary confinement, daily whippings, and cold showers are commonplace. The inmates are fed a diet of local raw squirrels and fried potatoes. The eating of squirrels is apparently part of a policy to eradicate the Grey species of invasive squirrels. Inmates are told to do design and engineering stuff or face even harsher penalties if daily targets are not met.

Harsh penalties include 1 week of solitary confinement with nothing more than a Wacom tablet, for a designer, all in total darkness. If an engineer doesn’t meet daily targets the punishment is harsher still. Solitary confinement in darkness is interpreted by ice-cold showers, sleep deprivation techniques every hour for 24 hours. In addition, loudspeakers play Adele albums continuously, a horror we can not begin to imagine.

The new Advanced Product Creation Centre internment cap is sprawled over 480 acres. The facility will become a center for electrification. Presumably to keep inmates from escaping. This fake news story is developing at a rapid rate, updates will be posted as and when we receive more fake news.