Most will say yes, Lance Stroll should get the hell out of F1, this privileged SOB… but before I launch into a full-blown class war, I should at least be fair and point out that he can be occasionally quick… when he feels like it. Or at least, that’s the impression he gives—perhaps he expects his butler to travel to the Wuyi Mountains to fetch some Da Hong Pao to inspire him and squeeze an extra tenth out of his lap time.

When you’re the privileged son of a billionaire who happens to own the F1 team you drive for, everyone outside your immediate family must seem like below-average plebs. After a troublesome Italian Grand Prix, in which Lance Stroll delivered yet another lacklustre performance that mirrored the perpetual upside-down frown on his face, he refused to speak much to the media in the post-race press pen.

This behaviour isn’t entirely unexpected—he’s given monotone responses during post-race interviews before—but I can’t help but wonder what he’s like behind closed doors. He probably has an assistant specifically to throw puddings at if they’re even one degree too hot, and another to frown at if he’s had a bad race.

The Dog Ate My Homework

But what counts as a bad race for Lance Stroll? So many of his outings are, yet occasionally he surprises by putting in a decent day’s work behind the wheel during a Grand Prix, leaving you wondering, “Where did that come from?” But at the Italian Grand Prix, peak Lance Stroll resurfaced like a bloated corpse drifting down a river.

A pit strategy that went awry meant that Stroll, starting from P16, finished the race in P18—a typical day for him. Unsurprisingly, he barely spoke to the media post-race, probably too busy scheming ways to vent his frustration on his “Frustration Assistant.”

Aston Martin Chief Trackside Officer, Mike Krack blamed a pit gantry issue—basically the F1 equivalent of “my dog ate my homework.” It’s the kind of pathetic cover-up the privileged lean on when accountability is inconvenient.

And here’s the kicker: Lance Stroll sits two points ahead of his teammate, Fernando Alonso—one of F1’s all-time legends. Justice? Don’t make me laugh. Should Stroll hit the mute switch on his career? Absolutely not. If he retired today, we would never understand or bear witness to the consequences of privilege over talent.