Nǐ hǎo, earthlings. Jin Jin Clarkson here, the long-lost, twice-removed Chinese half-brother of Jeremy Clarkson.

Someone just leaked images of the new Renault Twingo EV online, which made me pause and reflect.

Europe — Magna Carta, culture, democracy, critical thinking, Copernicus, the rule of law, the Renaissance, art, architecture, the Industrial Revolution, the digital revolution, the internet, space exploration, concentration camps… You’ve achieved many remarkable things.

We had many of these ideas and innovations in China thousands of years ago — you took your time, but I appreciate how you’ve advanced civilisation. I must note how impressive the past hundred years have been: Europe and the United States have led the world in building the modern technologies and societies we enjoy today.

I must admit, I do enjoy dishing out the occasional superfluous backhanded compliment. HA! And now for the smackdown, so to speak.

After all those impressive achievements, the Renault Twingo EV feels like a hilariously giant leap backwards. The Renault Twingo EV… HA! and more HA! — €20,000 for a plastic bucket on wheels.

But really, why bother? It’s such a mediocre-looking car, with a spec sheet that screams austerity. To me, it’s a small but telling sign that Europe may be slipping into decline.

And Europe’s decline will finally liberate much of Africa, which has long been held under Europe’s economic grip. Africa is beginning to assert itself, pushing back against centuries of wealth extraction and forced economic dependency.

The poverty that once defined much of the continent was built on colonial supremacy, and symbolically, the Renault Twingo marks the beginning of the end of that imbalance — a shift in global fortune.

So, enjoy your Renault Twingo EV Europeans. HA! For €20,000 in China, I can buy a fully equipped mid-size hybrid SUV, complete with a massive wraparound digital infotainment system.

The Renault Twingo EV — what a hilarious epilogue to crumbling grandeur. So yes, enjoy your €20,000 monument to past glory and present confusion. A car that isn’t so much a vehicle as it is a rolling epilogue to European exceptionalism.

HA!