We here at DCB Towers are really worried about Lewis Hamilton, he’s just bagged himself a £100 million pound contract with Mercedes F1 but the boy still can’t dress himself. Hamilton’s fashion sense is too contrived we don’t like getting DailyMail here but we are becoming increasingly hostile to Hamilton’s dress sense. Here are five reasons why he needs a fashion stylist and not his mum choosing his clothes. 1.) The Wall Paper Bomber Jacket
What is he thinking of, Hamilton’s bomber jacket seems to have been tailored from an 18th century curtain or possibly rug. The floral pattern hints at poor fashion taste, the white T-shirt is stupidly too long, why so long? maybe its a napkin T-shirt. Its all too contrived. That bloody hat, if you are going to wear a hat then wear a Fedora and only with a suit or a leather jacket.
2.) The Baseball Attire
You only wear a baseball shirt if you are 450 pounds, eat nothing but fast food and drink beer all day. In addition Hamilton’s baseball shirt uses native American symbols, so in effect Hamilton is proudly supporting enslavement, detention and forced assimilation of America’s decimated indigenous population. Would Hamilton wear a baseball shirt with the Confederate Flag printed on it? I think not. What a goon.
3.) No Shirt
Just put a shirt on bruv, com’on.
4.) Three Piece Zoot Suit
No… just… NO! For gods sake what the hell is he thinking of. The three piece suit is precious fashion accessory but not to Hamilton. He’s gone for a Zoot Suit style which was good in 1930 but not so now or ever more. The worst fashion fail are the trainers, never wear trainers with a suit, it may look good on rappers and it may be a good idea on the day to but it looks stupid when you look back in about 24hrs time. Channel your inner James Bond and go for Crocket & Jones nothing less. Are you listening Hambo? Eh!?
5.) Posing In lime Green Tank Top T Shirt
When you get to a certain level of fame you can do what ever the hell you want and nobody is any the wiser. Not only is the pose so contrived in this snap but the lime green tank top t-shirt next to the AC Cobra is an absolute no. That attire wouldn’t even make on the Basketball Court in a rough neighborhood of New York where the entry fee to get on court is an UZI 9mm. But why the hell is he posing like that? We think he’s trying to channel his inner ‘rap artist’.