It’s a slow news day and we tried to make a pun out of the very British Rolls Royce Cullinan Black Badge edition. Each attempt to do so became more difficult, one after the other. So we abandoned the editorial briefing and decided to go back to basics. We decided to go for a literal headline, it literally is the very British Rolls Royce Cullinan Black Badge edition. The Black Badge edition signals this is a bespoke designed and crafted Cullinan. Note, you never say a very British Rolls Royce is built, it is more accurate and less common to say “crafted”. That said, every Rolls Royce is, by definition, bespoke.

The exterior paint finish is polished by hand, the exterior trim highlights (usually chromed) are darkened to match the marketing and sales philosophy. Indeed every part of the exterior is black except for the red brake calipers and contrasting dark-grey 22-inch alloy wheels and door handles. And not forgetting the yellow go-fast pinstripe that flanks either side, which is very 1980s.

The interior trim is finished in black (what else did you expect) with contrasting yellow highlights. Very British Rolls Royce claim they developed a new “luxury” material. A naked-weave carbon-fiber trim with geometrical shapes that produce a “powerful” three-dimensional effect.

Each leaf of Technical Carbon trim is finished with six coats of lacquer before being left to cure for 72 hours then hand-polished to Rolls-Royce’s hallmark mirror finish.

This process takes 21 days and is only deemed complete once every piece is inspected by a craftsperson to ensure complete reflective uniformity across each of the 23 pieces within the car.

The 6.75-litre V12 twin-turbo receives a 29bhp upgrade, power is now defined as 592bhp and 664Nm of torque. This allows for a fairly swift 0-62mph time of 4.9 seconds and a top speed of 155mph.

You can order your very British Rolls Royce Cullinan Black Badge now, the price? If you can afford such a car then money is no barrier. More importantly, do multi-millionaires read this top quality, award-winning publication?

No is the definitive answer for we only deal with billionaire readers. Jeff Bezos is a confirmed reader, alongside our three other average daily readers the dog, next-door neighbor’s cat and Carwow… top quality car blog…