We don’t often side with Land Rover, after all, they tried to destroy this blog through nefarious means and by using a black arts playbook. Fortunately, Land Rover UK PR proved so inept we simply stepped to one side and watched with intrigue as they tried to defend the indefensible with their Chinese whispering campaign. While Land Rover’s professionalism has remained steadfastly as reliable as their vehicles, we here at DCB HQ have moved on from that warlike period. We can say with certainty, we didn’t start the fire. And that brings us to the Fake Land Rover Defender, otherwise known as the Ineos Fake Land Rover Defender.

The Ineos Grenadier is the brainchild of an out-of-touch billionaire with a bunker-like mentality. Jim Ratcliffe, the founder of chemical firm Ineos, is so out of touch with reality that he actually believes the Grenadier is not a Fake Land Rover. Knock, knock… planet earth calling Jimmy boy you made a fake Land Rover Defender…

Enter Carwow’s, Mat Watson. Halfway through the review, Matt Watson tries to convince his audience that the Fake Land Rover Defender isn’t a copy-paste of the Land Rover Defender. WHAT!… WAIT!… WHAT!?.. We had to stop watching as Matt started to waffle endlessly about why the Ineos Fake Land Rover Defender is not a fake Land Rover.

We’re pretty sure Ratcliffe slipped some type of mind-altering chemical into Matt’s drink during the pre-test drinks party. A chemical compound that enables Matt to become just as out of touch with reality as Ratcliff.

Matt… you’re way more powerful than Ratcliff could ever be with all his billions, you have six million YouTube subs. Ratcliffe has only got a band of yes men and women and maybe a few hangers-on. Matt, you have more power… but when you go shopping at Tesco, sorry it’s Waitrose these days, you have no power at all.

Matt, know this… power, and knowing those in so-called positions of power, it’s all just an illusion. If you are unsure why just ask Damocles. We just patronized Matt Watson. Does he actually read this? We’ll have to confer with our daily readership, the dog and next-door neighbor’s cat.