Mat Watson is currently being held under siege-like conditions at the Millbrook Proving Ground in Bedfordshire. The private test facility is used by car manufacturers to put finishing touches to their UK spec cars. The exception is Dacia, who does no testing at all. Actually, our lawyer has stressed the importance of making it known that Mat Watson is not being held against his will under siege-like conditions. And Dacia does no testing at all.

Carwow’s star presenter is testing, testing, testing at Millbrook, Millbrook, Millbrook. But Mat Watson is under siege due to the volume of car reviews he undertakes. Or should that be overtake? Pun very much intended.

Bad puns aside, DCB HQ is not allowed to enter the Millbrook Proving Ground. We got banned by the darling buds of May over at the SMMT. They invited us, they banned us. Veni, Vidi, Vici. It’s a short story, it is what it is.