Ahh, Hyundai… Is it Hee-un-day, or Hi-yun-day? Who knows? It’s the sound you make when you stub your toe or when the car fails to start—either way, it’s a name we’re all stuck with. But make no mistake, Hyundai is a big car company. How big? Well, big in the way that fast-food chains are “big.” Sure, they sell a lot, but is it because people love them or because they’re just there when you’re too tired to care?

Now, Hyundai has managed to crawl out of the quicksand of mediocrity, only to land… well, somewhere just above mediocrity. That’s progress, right? It’s like graduating from reheated leftovers to gourmet microwave dinners. You’ve gotta admire them for aiming higher, even if “higher” just means you’re standing on your tiptoes.

And Hyundai’s latest leap towards “excellence” is the Inster. No, not a typo for “Instagram”—the Inster, an electric compact “horse” that will take you up to 220 miles, according to Hyundai. Ah yes, “up to.” Two little words that have been giving hope to the hopeless since the dawn of advertising. Up to… such a beautiful phrase, isn’t it? It’s like a promise made by a friend who never shows up. “Oh yeah, you’ll totally get 220 miles… up to.” Translation: “You’ll actually get about 150 miles, downhill, with a tailwind, and after sacrificing your firstborn to the battery gods.”

You see, “up to” is the kind of marketing magic that makes you think you’re getting a deal, when really you’re just being gaslit. It’s like a televangelist telling you salvation is just one more donation away, except here it’s Hyundai preaching range, while quietly passing around the collection plate—otherwise known as your savings account.

So, take it from someone who’s been through the electric car wilderness, clutching their range anxiety like a rosary. The Inster? It’s going to be everything you’d expect—a jigsaw puzzle made up of “meh” pieces, neatly assembled into a vehicle that’s just good enough to make you wonder why you didn’t aim higher. But here’s hoping the Inster—and Hyundai’s half-hearted attempt at greatness—drives off into the sunset of obscurity, where it belongs.

Give me a real electric car, not another temporary blip on the mediocrity radar. Fail, Inster, fail. We deserve better lies.