Volkswagen is patiently waiting to replace the T-Roc — by which we mean they’re quietly building its successor while pretending it’s business as usual. In the meantime, the Marketing Department, likely fueled by cold coffee and existential dread, has joined forces with Sales to answer a critical question: How do you convince people to buy more of a car that’s basically on its farewell tour?

Enter the deus ex machina of car marketing: the Black Edition. Or wait — this one’s even more majestic. It’s the Special Black Edition. Yes, when innovation stalls and inspiration takes a long holiday, the automotive industry always has a reliable backup plan: paint it black, add “Special” to the name, and pretend it’s a revolution.

It’s the classic rabbit-out-of-a-hat trick — except the rabbit is held against its will, looks exhausted, the hat’s fraying at the seams, and the audience is just politely clapping to avoid making it awkward.

The T-Roc Special Black Edition, in a stunning twist, actually comes in two flavours: the T-Roc Style Design and the Black Edition Plus. Each offers a bespoke medley of new interior trims and glossy black bits that scream “limited edition” in the same way a “closing down sale” screams “we’ll be back next week.”

These masterstrokes of marketing start at a mere £33,205 and top out at £36,515 — because nothing says “special” like paying more for what used to be standard, just with mood lighting and darker wheels.

Style and value? Really, what else is there to say? The new T-Roc is coming — but until then, there’s always black.