He’s actually sitting on a fortune of £25–35 million, most of it courtesy of Jeff Bezos and the Amazon show he co-starred in with his Top Gear partners in crime, Jeremy Clarkson and James May. People like Hammond don’t just let that money gather dust in a bank—they’ve got financial advisors to make sure it multiplies faster than a hypercar hitting 200 mph.

Hence, Hammond’s Iron Ridge whisky, May’s… drinkable turpentine, and Clarkson’s “fuck me that’s good” beer. This isn’t a quirky hobby—it’s business. Your cash should be working as hard as you pretend to at the office.

Of course, there’s always the offshore tax haven route, as the Panama Papers so charmingly reminded us. But we’re not here to hide money—we’re just giving Hammond’s whisky a shout-out. We’re not making a penny, we’ve never met the man, and we’ve certainly never been contacted by him or his people.

And let’s face it, the whisky is just the warm-up act. The real star? The Yangwang U9X: the fastest production car on the planet, regardless of engine type. This pure-electric hypercar cranks out 3,000 bhp and will happily hit 308 mph while you clutch your seatbelt and wonder if life really should be this fast.