Look at it… it looks like complete and utter gob-shite. A holy grail of bland derivative production friendly, cost friendly, focus group friendly styling. It’s the new BMW 1 Series a car so utterly devoid of originality it’s driven by zombies in their designer heels, false eyelashes and expensive designer handbags they can’t afford. And we’re talking about the men. Irrespective of the gender, the BMW 1 Series is a car you should always avoid.
Why? Because it’s like ticking a box in a pointless survey. Everything you are or has ever been will be defined by this lump of metal and soft-touch materials. The BMW 1 Series has always been overrated. Just because it had rear-wheel drive people, or rather motoring journalists loved it.
But the love shown towards the 1 Series by enthusiastic motoring journalists is mostly fake news. I will never forget witnessing a motoring journalist salivating over the M135i and exclaiming it to be the best thing since the dawn of creation.
When I drove it I found it to be a pile gob-shite. That’s my professional opinion. The BMW M135i is a pile of gob-shite. And that’s why I would rather buy a King Cobra and get bitten than buy a premium luxury rubbish BMW 1 Series.
Rear wheel drive? who gives a fuck. Do you think the Gucci handbag class, with their oversized designer glasses, manicured nails, and hair extensions care about rear-wheel-drive or front-wheel drive?
Do you think the type of person who buys into the cult of BMW is interested in more knee room or headroom or size of the door bins? No, no, no, NO! It’s all about the image, the illusion of success. And this website knows all about the illusion of success.
We can almost guarantee the 2019 BMW 1 Series turd-generation will be given positive reviews by motoring journalists who are more interested in retaining access to BMW than they are actually reviewing cars.
So reviewing a BMW is kind-of-pointless because they are pointless and unreliable (that’s a statistical fact) and that’s why the bland, derivative styled BMW 1 Series is the worst car of the week.