We debated all week, all night and into the morning and still we couldn’t decide if the Bentley EXP 100 GT Concept was deserving to be mangled to death in our infamous worst car of the week category. We couldn’t do it. So, the responsibility fell onto my shoulders. But time has not soothed my opinions of this so-called future embodiment of Bentley. In theory, all Bentleys should be powered by naturally aspirated V12s, no E-lectricity, mild hybrid or clever cylinder de-activation technologies. No stop-start or silly carbon emission neutralising nonsense. Because WE! are British and the British do as they please!
I can accept a few modern luxuries like lane assist and computer controlled steering because “we the British” must have the ability to pour oneself a cup of Earl Grey when driving a Bentley at high speed. And the leather should be sourced from slaughtered animal skins not this hippy, pot smoking millennial inspired leather. “We the British” must have real animal skinned leather… and hunt Foxes! And kill badgers!
“We the British” don’t want AI controlled vehicles, we the British” prefer the Bentley to have drum brakes, a traditional British handbrake and a British manual shifter. “We the British” don’t want the Bentley to have this new-fangled E-lectronic parking brake. However, the biggest sin of this Bentley EXP 100 GT Concept is that it ignores the hard-pressed working class. No, not the poor and downtrodden, certainly not the middle or upper-middle classes but the wealthiest of “we the British” society.
This new Bentley concept is designed to appeal to the Chinese market. I say unto them, why not “we the British?!” They the Chinese like vehicles with presence, bling, in your face styling. And big grilles. The styling of the Bentley EXP 10 GT Concept could have been epic, but someone (“not we the British”) said unto the Bentley stylist, make the grille bigger so it appeals to the Chinese buyer.
“We the British” should not bow our heads to the Chinese, “we the British” made China what it is today. “We the British” once turned China into a state reliant on opium, ah that’s when “we the British” were the greatest ever drug barons of the world. Then we stole Hong Kong from China and for 100 years laughed in their faces as we gave them a taste of western hypocrisy… I mean democracy.
And what are we doing now? Bowing our heads like servants, like paupers, begging, “penny for the poor master”. NO! NOT EVER, NEVER EVER… EVER! “We the British” must rise from the embers of an Empire long gone, take back control of our borders… I mean our national pride and frog march to populism because we have lost our minds. We can lose our minds again and make “we the British” we the British again!
That’s what made “we the British” great! We may no longer have our national pride but we will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them on the seas, we will never surrender our “we the British” Bentley brand to the eternal suffrage of internationalism. Let’s make Bentley great again!