Brexit Jeremiah Clarkson on the Nissan shit storm,
How To Become A Motoring Journalist
Jeremiah Clarkson
Many people ask me about how to become a motoring journalist. Learn to spell and make sure you have good grammar is the first thing I always say, something not always attributable to DCB. Once you become a motoring journalist you quickly realise how poorly paid it is. My advice is to get out as soon as you can, if you want to earn more money then become an investment banker. Or bake cakes for Mary Berry. Failing that shoot yourself in the foot, register as being disabled and let the state look after you. And make sure you buy an unregistered firearm from the back of a rusty Ford Transit van, you can see them all over the place where I live in the Cotswolds. These firearms are usually sold by war criminals from the Balkans who have come over to Blighty as refugees and assimilated into our country and culture because they ‘look’ like us and not them. Thank god for the Tories and the Cotswolds. The world of motoring journalism is flanked by veteran reporters and self important motoring societies. These people get invited to private functions, are given freebies by the certain motoring manufacturers in order to keep their opinions fragrant with praise. In other words some motoring hacks are bought off and are happy to go along with the party and yes they do get invited to parties, usually private members clubs in central London. You would think there is an independent voice to be heard, there are but they are too busy fending off the next days hangover while expecting to go on another booze filled party the following day. And if you want to enter this world for the first time then you are entering enemy territory, motoring journalists will die to defend their all expenses paid lifestyle. And like me if you are really well known then you have click of the fingers access to some of the worlds greatest automotive rocket ships, Astons, Bentleys, Rolls Royce, Pagani, Lamborghini. And that’s why motoring hacks will fiercely defend their patch. So if you are a young journalist looking to specialise in the motoring world my advise to you is watch your back, make sure you can spell and as a fail safe strategy be prepared to shoot yourself in the foot. Which ever is your call.  Brexit Jeremiah Clarkson on the Nissan shit storm,
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