There is little to comment on regarding a car that has undergone eight iterations over the past 50 years, yet such is the saga of the Volkswagen Golf. Once a beloved choice among new car buyers, the Golf seems to be experiencing a decline, falling short of its own high standards. But that is the story of the updated and devolved 2024 Volkswagen Golf. The Golf, once a firm favourite among new car buyers, is in decline by its own lofty standards.

Volkswagen asserts that the latest Golf is more attractive. However, to my eyes, it appears somewhat devolved. They claim enhanced intelligence, a statement I find hard to believe. Additionally, they assert increased efficiency, reminiscent of their previous assertions that their diesel engines were both “efficient” and “clean.”

The 2024 devolved Volkswagen Golf introduces a new massive infotainment screen which integrates ChatGPT. ChatGPT is an AI assistant that gathers your data and sells it to the highest bidder so you get personalised ads selling you plugin heaters for your house that cost pennies to run.

They tell me that the revised Golf boasts a new parking assistant. However, based on past experiences, this particular technology has never proven effective enough to justify its use. Additionally, the updated Golf now comes with a plug-in hybrid powertrain offering a pure electric range of 40 miles. A plug-in hybrid Golf? At this point, I am losing the will to live.

The existing conventional engine lineup has undergone minimal changes, retaining a blend of mild-hybrid, 48-volt 1.5-litre to 2.0-litre turbocharged petrol engines, and even a 2.0-litre diesel powertrain. Even post-Dieselgate, Volkswagen continues to exhibit a conspicuous absence of remorse or shame.

I must acknowledge Volkswagen for its prowess in crafting efficient engines. However, their misstep with Dieselgate proved to be a self-inflicted wound. At a time when petrol engine technology was reaching new heights of technical proficiency, Dieselgate forced the entire automotive industry to pivot towards electric vehicles. Selfish fools.

The forthcoming Volkswagen Golf marks the end of an era as it represents the final iteration featuring a fossil-fuel-powered piston engine. The next generation will transition to electric powertrains. Anyway, that is the story of the updated and devolved 2024 Volkswagen Golf.