The Volvo V60 was… that’s the history lesson over with. 

Today in the UK, the Volvo V60 will soon become a mere footnote in automotive history, a case of Veni, Vidi, Discontinued. Volvo UK has decided to ditch the V60 indeed all estate and saloons. The V90-gone, the S90-gone, the S60-gone and the V60… you know the thing. While these models may still be listed on the Volvo UK website, they are only available as limited-stock vehicles. Volvo’s strategic shift will now focus on EVs and SUVs and those weird crossover vehicles because that’s where the money is.

So what’s the point of this review? Why review a car that is no longer available for sale? Well, we get to experience what Volvo represents and how that brand presence will translate into future products. As a preface, it’s all rather promising, if I may say so!

The Engine & Performance… this is reasonable

The V60 is powered by a 2.0-litre…

Hold on, Volvo is going fully electric. It doesn’t matter about the V60’s overall engine performance. Let me just add, that it’s a good enough gasoline engine, but it doesn’t offer the best-in-class efficiency…

This is reasonable.

The Drive… this is dangerous

The V60’s driving dynamics feel strange. It rides comfortably at both low and high speeds, indicating that the suspension is clearly set for comfort. However, the trade-off comes at the expense of handling and cornering stability. While the body control is decent, at lower speeds, typically between 20-40mph, when entering a corner, the V60 will rock slightly side-to-side. At higher speeds, it’s settled and predictable enough, but I found the steering to be fidgety on the motorway, requiring constant micro-corrections to stay true and planted to the road.

Then there’s the rear end—it feels unsteady when making sudden changes and braking to a halt. I experienced this sensation when faced with an unscheduled accident on the motorway; I had to perform an emergency manoeuvre to avoid a collision that was occurring in front of me, going from 65mph to a rolling stop. As I executed the manoeuvre, I immediately felt rear trying to overtake me.

Fortunately, the Volvo didn’t spin, but clearly, the rear suspension feels rather docile. A German rival car manufacturer would have handled the same situation with ease. I’m not sure what Volvo’s engineers are smoking during their million miles of testing, but they must be indulging in something potent to greenlight the V60’s stock ride and handling…

This is dangerous.

The Interior… this is excellent

The entire interior exudes a first-class premium feel, it’s solidly built and the overall design, with its focus on minimalism, is uncluttered and calming on the soul. The material choice throughout is top-notch—there are no cheap-feeling materials incorporated anywhere. It easily rivals, if not surpasses, BMW in class and is far superior to anything currently made by Mercedes.

The entry-level Core spec on test ditches the expensive leather seats in favour of seats lined in tartan grey cloth in a bid to lower the entry price and encourage more sales. However, the strategy hasn’t worked because the V60 is no longer available for sale here in the UK.

Anyway, the seats are super comfortable and supportive and the seat fabric is of very high quality, wool to be precise. The only slight is the lack of felt coverage on the inside door pocket. The boot loadspace is an ideal size with the seats up or down… hold on, it’s being discontinued why bother with boot stats?

Anyway, up front the the driver and passenger space feels a bit tight in terms of width and rear seat passengers have a comfortable experience although leg room is a little on the tight side but bearable…

This is excellent.

Equipment Levels… this is dangerous

No requirement to go into exhaustive details because the Volvo V60 is being discontinued. Volvo chops and changes the specifications on the regular. Volvo’s wayward approach to its model range designation is not too dissimilar to conversing with a drunk in a bar who is about to fall off his stool, only to inevitably fall off, get back up and inevitably fall back down again eventually succumbing to a deep slumber.

Let me say this equipment levels are good, but it’s the infotainment system where my main focus is. The infotainment system has been around for years, and the minimalist graphical user experience is easy to navigate. However, the fully digital heating controls might irk some, but personally, I don’t mind either way.

Indeed, I have switched to using Google Voice Assistant, which is part of the infotainment software experience. With Google Voice Assistant, I can fully control the heating, fan speed, vents, air-con, and even switch on and off the heated seats all by voice command. Additionally, I can voice-activate apps such as Spotify.

The Google Assistant voice control functionality is incredibly accurate, making it almost infallible. No longer do I need to fumble around searching for the correct switch gear to turn things on or off; why bother with switch gear when voice activation is better? And it will only improve, especially with the advent of advanced AI.

However, voice control poses significant concerns. Every command you articulate is recorded, and your data is mined. With your consent, your data is sold and exploited, ultimately reappearing in the form of targeted advertising. With your own consent, you have become a digital asset to corporations, and with your own consent, you opted out of the analogue world for convenience…

This is dangerous.

The Dead Steering Feel… this is dangerous

I often refrain from discussing steering feel because most car manufacturers have settled for the “Goldilocks” electric steering setup— not too much feel, not too little feel, just right. However, Volvo has taken a different approach because the steering has no feel at all… This is dangerous.

It took me a number of weeks to get used to the V60’s “dead” steering. Initially, it felt as if I was holding onto nothing, as if my hands were suspended in the air, levitating by a mysterious force, yet visually I could see I was holding a steering wheel.

The steering has three mode settings, none of which make a significant difference. The mystery of my hands suspended in the air at 9 to 5 only deepened. In the end, I accepted my fate and acknowledged that this is the best Volvo has to offer…

This is dangerous.

The “Lame” Assist… this is VERY! dangerous

The Lane Assist, or as I call it, the “Lame Assist” function, feels as though it was developed and programmed by a serial killer. On the motorway, the Lane Assist will not accurately track the white lines and in a straight line will often hunt from one side to the other. Perhaps the Lane Assist software was programmed by a cocaine-addled junike. And then if you veer off the white lines, Lane Assist will forcefully pull you back…

This is dangerous.

However, I am convinced that the software engineering was programmed by the WEF technicians, perhaps by Klaus Schwab himself. To that end, I truly believe that Volvo is attempting to depopulate the world. And you know what? Volvo is a WEF partner and, by proxy, part of the depopulation agenda conspiracy…

This is insanely dangerous!

The Lack of Heated Wing Mirrors… this is dangerous

You expect a vehicle at this price point to offer heated wing mirrors as standard; after all, Volvo markets itself as a safety-first brand. Without heat, the wing mirrors become unusable when rain is lashing down, and in the winter, I have to manually scrape off the buildup of morning ice. Do they not know who I am? No, obviously not.

The absence of heated wing mirrors, requiring manual scraping of ice, poses a safety issue…

This is dangerous.

Over The Air Software updates… this is dangerous

Over-the-air software updates, pioneered by Tesla, are now becoming commonplace among automakers. During our long term review, the V60 received a number of over-the-air updates, including infotainment software updates, as well as updates to the transmission and engine. Specifically, the transmission, the gearbox, is often targeted in these software updates.

However, the latest transmission software update was a backward step; a noticeable lag from a standstill occurs, about 0.8 seconds, not much but enough to cause mild panic.

This appears to be another attempt at depopulation… this is dangerous.

The Verdict

I truly admire the Volvo V60; it’s so well put together—the fit, the finish, the material choice, the calming cabin, the quiet driving experience. It’s a pity that Volvo has decided to discontinue the V60 in the UK because I would have no hesitation in buying one or recommending it to others. In fact, I am now fully converted to the Volvo brand, flaws notwithstanding.

This seemingly pointless review underscores Volvo’s dedication to premium luxury in a way that rivals like Mercedes (and sometimes BMW) can no longer match.

However, the software issues, the superb but dystopian voice command, the absence of certain features, and the links to Klaus Schwab and the WEF. It all points to a depopulation agenda marking out the Volvo V60 as a stylish Trojan horse, striving to pave the way for a dark future using design language and questionable engineering software, all as part of a pathway to a subservient and futile agenda.

Despite these concerns, I can’t recommend the V60 enough. It’s a great vehicle, deserving of recognition despite signalling the end of an era, the setting of the sun for the piston-powered age of motoring. So why, then, did it only score a 0.5-star rating out of 5?

As usual, this isn’t about the product; it’s about the people at Volvo UK who are meant to make the brand shine. Specifically, it’s about one ill tempered individual who has risen through the ranks and climbed the greasy corporate ladder, hiding behind a facade of superficial charm.

We can see through the faux charm because we’ve seen it before, and we’ve seen the narcissism before. If you cannot represent yourself to us, the bottom rung of journalism, how on earth are you going to represent a premier brand?

Falling in love with your own reflection is effortless, but compelling others to adore your self-absorption—now that’s a rare talent deserving both praise and condemnation in equal measure.

Ultimately, this is dangerous.

A Critical Analysis of The Above Review By DCB Editorial:

The review presents a critical analysis of the Volvo V60, intertwining concerns about its software issues, voice command system, missing features, and alleged connections to figures like Klaus Schwab and organizations like the World Economic Forum (WEF). The author suggests that these elements point towards a sinister agenda of depopulation, positioning the V60 as a sleek but deceptive vehicle serving a darker purpose.

However, despite these grave concerns, the author paradoxically praises the V60 as a great vehicle worthy of recognition. This contradiction is explained by the author’s subsequent criticism of Volvo UK’s management and specifically one individual within the organization. The author accuses this person of lacking genuine charm and authenticity, instead relying on superficial tactics to advance within the company.

The passage concludes by highlighting the danger of such behaviour, suggesting that it poses a threat not only to the company’s reputation but also to society at large. It implies that the individual’s actions are indicative of a broader trend of narcissism and manipulation, which could have far-reaching consequences.

Overall, the passage combines a critique of both the product itself and the corporate culture surrounding it, weaving together themes of technology, corporate ethics, and societal impact.