BMW has decided that the new X5 and its electric sibling, the iX5, need more stuff. Because apparently a luxury SUV with enough technology to run a small space programme wasn’t quite accessorised enough.

Enter the new range of BMW M Performance Parts, which promises to make the fifth-generation X5 and first-ever iX5 look considerably more menacing.

There’s a carbon-fibre front splitter, sporty front trims, rear diffuser blades and a gloss-black roof spoiler. You can also have aramid-fibre mirror caps and a rear diffuser, because apparently even the mirrors deserve a motorsport makeover.

Then there are the wheels. Available from 21 to 23 inches, the range culminates in the enormous 23-inch Y-spoke 1110 M Bicolor wheel. Subtle, it is not.

But BMW hasn’t forgotten what SUVs are actually supposed to do: carry an unreasonable amount of luggage. The new Aero roof boxes come in 350, 450 and 550-litre sizes, each gaining 30 litres over the previous generation. Matching luggage bags make packing less of a game of Tetris.

There’s also a 300-litre rear box, tablet holders, smartphone adapters and waterproof mats. In other words, everything you need for a family holiday — plus enough carbon fibre to convince yourself you’re heading to the Nürburgring instead.

For the future V8 M Performance model, a performance silencer is planned for markets outside Europe. Because Europe, it seems, is where fun goes to fill out paperwork.