The French, why do they hate us Brit’s so much, such ingratitude, such nasal sneering emanates from our snail eating, garlic loving cousin’s. I strongly believe they would rather let the Euro tunnel collapse, sealing us Brit’s to our very own self inflicted doom of a McDonald munching, shell suit wearing nation, where Strictly Come Dancing is favored over the Gangnam Style. But something is going wrong in France and the Euro debt crisis isn’t to blame, something is slowly going awry and you can smell it in the air. France is a society proud of its international standing as a food nation. However I feel France is becoming something it has feared, France is becoming like us, France is slowly turning British and we can blame multinational, corporate cannibalism for this.

”Recently I feel France is becoming something it has feared for a long time, France is becoming like us, France is slowly turning British and we can see it in their food”

I was in Paris a few weeks ago, unable to find a table at my favorite five star restaurant I decided to venture out into the real world, a place I know exist’s, but only I couldn’t find this ‘real world’, it had somehow disappeared. This world was full of sandwiches, British style sandwich’s, EGG AND CRESS! sandwiches. Horrified I ran out of one shop and into another looking for superior and authentic French cuisine, but my confused and wild look was met by a wall of sandwiches, now bewildered I again ran out of the shop, by now my head was spinning, sandwiches to the right of me, sandwiches to the left of me, sneering French nationals in front of me, every where sandwiches, and of course, (just one more time) traditional, stereotypical, patented French sneering. It was like I was in a Tom Cruise action movie but this was real, my heart was pumping, the adrenalin flowing.

”Paris, France, over there they call it chic, over here I say it needs a good lick of paint. Paris is elegant in some area’s but a majority of it is dilapidating, its a cross between Edgeware Road and Birmingham from the 1970’s, oh how the mighty have fallen”

But this illustrates the pointless HOOO HAAA! point I am trying to make, the French for all of their high mindedness, for all of their superior culture, and they do like flaunting it about, the French are becoming more like us Brit’s, they are becoming a nation of sandwich eaters. And in many ways this is signaling a slow decline in the nation that was once France. I believe it began in the Second World War II, but statistics show the French decline began when we kept beating them at Rugby in Twickenham, as a result they invented wine to drown their liver’s and self pitiful sorrow rather than plan for sporting revenge. Even the French language, that gateway into the hearts and minds of France is now dying. It used to be a Gatling Gun of ”eehhh, ooohhh, eeee!” shrug of the shoulders, now its being replaced by McDonalds and Egg Cress sandwiches, ohhhh how the mighty have fallen.