The corporate living corpse, known as the sterile corporate monolith Stellantis (sometimes called Stellantis), is a slumbering giant—a sloth of a corporation fueled by a drone-like managerial class armed with the imagination of dried mud the visionary prowess of a kindergarten finger-painting session. 

Breathing life into this inanimate corporate entity, known for its manufacturing crimes such as Peugeot, Citroen, Fiat, Vauxhall, and Jeep, demands a leader as unique as a unicorn on rollerblades.

The corporate monolith has a new UK boss, the new unicorn on rollerblades. Welcome to the hell, Mr. Mario Grazio Davino. Welcome to the challenge of steering UK Sterile Stellantis away from the precipice and into the gloomy abyss. I trust that your leadership will inspire change and dispel the lethargy that has entrenched itself at the heart of its sterile UK operations.

Mr. Davino, You have a substantial amount of work ahead managing a sterile corporation operated by a “professional” managerial class wearing lead boots and a marketing department with ideas as hollow as a leaky water-filled bucket. You’ll need to intensify the pressure on the lack of motivation and the pitiful absence of self-awareness.

Your communications department is currently paralyzed—paralyzed by a mix of arrogance, ignorance, and stupidity. They have consistently failed to serve as the torchbearers of the pandemic-ridden Peugeot brand. Instead of guiding the brand, they have chosen to engage in career-guided navel-gazing with an extreme focus on picking out tummy fluff.

We call this state of existence… the ”Arnold”. 

So Mr Davino, welcome to Britain, welcome to a unique and special kind of hell.