The Austin Montego, The Final Insult
Worst Car of the Week

The United Kingdom kick-started the era of mass industrialization and built one of the biggest Empires in history. OK so it was built on the back of slavery and lets not forget we became the world’s biggest drug exporters vis-a-vie drug king pins the world has ever known. Even the organized drug cartels of South America are nothing compared to what we British achieved under the curtain of Empire building.

This is the world heritage legacy of Britain, we have achieved great things, off the back of selling drugs, commercializing slavery, stealing territory (Hong Kong) and stealing diamonds and jewels that now belong to the Queen.

But we have also discovered the secret of life, DNA, created the Spitfire, the light bulb, Pneumatic tyre, carbon fibre, the steam engine, the telephone, the television, the jet engine, the electric motor, the computer and the disc break indeed the list is almost endless.

We also created perhaps the anti-epiphany of cars, the Austin Montego, a 1980’s disaster waiting to happen. It did happen and it was a disaster, over 400,000 were made and sold during production between 1984 and 1991. It squared off against rivals at the time such as the Ford Sierra and Vauxhall Cavalier, this was the best that we could do, it was the best that we could do at the time.

The Montego was a mobile rust bucket and when it rained it also rained inside, it was the worst of Britain and the best of Britain and represented the final insult and spiraling downfall in all that was achieved over the previous 300 years. If I say it was a god awful car then using an existential being still doesn’t come close to describing how god awful it was, that’s all I need to say.

The Montego was essentially the remnants of the British Leyland Era, if you don’t know what British Leyland is then put simply is was, initially, a state-owned carmaker administered by Civil Servants who were drawn from a public school boy system educated to run the empire. Although the empire had long since ground to a halt at the start of the 20th century the pompous mindset of a “great empire” hadn’t left the simple minds of this British, elitist schooling system, and it’s still the case today.

The final insult is that the Austin Montego has found a user base, yes the dreaded Austin Montego Owners club is keeping these mobile trash cans alive and kicking for another generation, there is no justice in the world.

British made Austin Montego you were hell, you bought shame on this proud nation of international drug pushers and renowned inventors who changed the world, and you are the worst car of the week.

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